Koopman Kraziness

Since we got off schedule a bit after moving back to Texas, Kamden had his well child check for 18 months today at 20 months and 6 days.  He weighed in at 25 lbs (28%) which was 2 lbs down from a month ago, but he's been a LOT more active since then with learning to run and climb so maybe that's why.  He was 33 1/2 inches (68%) tall.  One of the major things that all doctors from birth have watched REALLY closely is for any signs of developmental delay.  Up to about 10 months old, he had a slight delay with sitting up, crawling and walking.  Since then, he's been really on target.  At the appointment today, his doctor said he was on target for a 2 to 2 and a half year old! He's saying 25-30 words, running, climbing, and to quote his doctor his "strength level is INCREDIBLE".  I feel SO blessed to have a healthy, happy baby boy after so many months of worrying about his brain development.  Even though his MRI showed us the ventricular deformity, I ...

Today I met my dad at the storage facility where much of Jeff and I's belongings are stored.  We met with one goal in mind.  We were going to get clothes out to pack and take with us to Wisconsin for when we pick up Jeff.  (Forgive me for getting mushy here...) It was amazing to open those boxes and plastic totes and smell Jeff again.  Picking out his clothes and putting outfits together made it really hit that he is going to be home in a month.  OH MY GOODNESS!!!  HE'S GOING TO BE HOME IN A MONTH!!!  My parents, Kamden and I will leave to drive up to Wisconsin a month from tomorrow.  In some ways it still seems so unreal, but in others it's REALLY getting exciting!

My son absolutely cracks me up.  Right as I got ready to start typing, he walked up to me, gave me a huge, killer smile and said, "I toot-id".  What a nut. I can't believe that this tiny baby I brought home almost 20 months ago... Has become this BIG boy who is going through clothes faster than I can buy them! I went in search of shoes for this not so little man today and had to, again, thank God for Once Upon A Child (C) He's gone from a size 4 to a size 6 in shoes in about 2 and a half months!  I don't know if you've priced toddler shoes lately, but even for off brand, they run about $9-15.  Were he staying in shoes for a longer amount of time I wouldn't mind buying those at all, but since he apparently sprinkles his food with Mir@cle Grow when I'm not looking, I check consignment stores before ANY others. We made it out with 2 warm shirts, 2 books, 2 pairs of socks and 6 or 7 pairs of shoes for $28.00. We are in the home stretch now and under 40 da...

Several weeks ago, I had the chance to sit and talk with a friend that I don't get the chance to talk to very often.  We both have toddlers about the same age and live two timezones apart, so coordinating talk times is not very easy.  The times that we do get to talk, we generally just have time to get caught up on life in general and the other bare essentials, but this particular night we got to talk for a few hours and it changed my life and my heart in ways I never expected it would. Around this same time, I had a status message up on facebook regarding not knowing what to do with my life.  She shared with me that she had been praying for me and felt impressed to share something with me.  She went on to tell me that I was already doing what I was meant to do with my life: loving and caring about others.  Deep down I was really a Mary and not the Martha I was trying so desperately to be.  (Luke 10)  I'll be honest, at first I was almost offended by s...

After a full week of 5-8 runny diapers a day, Kamden finally had a solid diaper tonight.  I took him into the pediatrician today and they were really baffled.  He had no fever, no lethargy, no loss of appetite or weight, in fact he had gained over a pound in a month, so they were as confused as I was.  Come to find out, there has been a nasty stomach bug OTHER than swine flu that has been going around and in some kiddos it's holding on for  2 weeks.  If that is what he has we're a week in with probiotics and BRAT diet on our side.  We are completely cutting out dairy with the exception of active culture yogurt for the next two days (minimum) and if things aren't better by Wednesday, we are going to have to take stool samples.  PLEASE, God, let this work.

It feels like life is catching up with me. I've been trying my hardest to daily "give it up to God" to "put on a happy face" and to "keep on keeping on", but it seems like that the last week has proven harder and harder each day to do so. The positive outlook I was able to sustain and approach my days with is either faltering or gone now. I find myself unable to face what I see in the mirror day to day and at least twice a day each day on the verge of tears. I'm tired in every way possible and I'm to a place where I'm not sure what to do to get back to my "happy place". I thank the Lord for Kamden. There are days that I know I wouldn't even try if it weren't for him... Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

I'm becoming the mom that I swore I'd never become. You know the kind.  They are the ones that you hear telling their kids several times halfway calmly to "please stop" or "no sir" or "what did Mommy say???"...then the next thing you know they are yelling. I NEVER wanted to be a mom that yelled at my child.  I know he's just learning and trying to figure out what "right" and "wrong" are.  It's my job to teach him that...but in the last week I've caught myself yelling at him at least one a day.  I know it's something I can change...and ONLY I can change...but I feel like I'm failing at the one job I have right now: being Mom and Dad to Kamden...

I just had to share!  I talked with Jeff earlier today and he said that he has several boxes of his personal belongings to go ahead and mail back home...which means...they are getting ready to come home from deployment!  Right now it sounds like the end of January.  In some ways it still feels so far away, but I know with the holidays coming up soon it will FLY!

First, I'd like to apologize for my lack of posting.  It's been a very emotional month and I've not been dealing with it as well as I'd like to make everyone think I have been.  I will make a disclaimer before going any further so that if you aren't in a state of mind to read negative/sad things, you might want to skip this post. I'm doing my best to maintain a positive outlook and don't mean this post to be a gripe list, but I do want to let all know what is going on. The first of the month started with a bang...literally.  Jeff's unit was hit by a  mortar attack while we were talking over video chat.  Thank God, Jeff was/is unharmed despite a mortar landing 30 feet from his room and sending a direct hit to an adjacent room.  It made for many sleepless nights for not only Jeff but for me as well.  We know that God is in control and keeping him safe, but an incident like this definitely puts our mortality into perspective. My dad went to a Nephrologist...

It's one thing to lose a real life, see the person every day in the flesh relationship.  It's going to quite obviously affect the person losing.  Why do people see losing online friends as any different?  Sometimes you can find yourself having an even deeper connection with those you have not met in person because you are more at ease to share your dreams, fears, desires, etc. I said that to say...I get it.  I understand that whatever friendship we had must be over, though I have no idea why.  I did what I could to stay in touch and try to continue cultivating our relationship and for whatever reason that effort was not returned.  As much as I don't want to...I let you go.

LOL Don't get excited. It's not a new baby. No immaculate conception has taken place. I got a call today that I'm approved to start insulin pump therapy. I am SO excited. It's going to make my quality of life better. It's going to make my diabetes control tighter and help prolong life for me. It's going to make future pregnancies safer for me and for the baby. I won't forget shots. I won't have to prick my finger 6-8 times a day anymore. Instead, I'll have continuous monitoring and an alert to tell me if my sugar is going too high or too low. I was so thrilled when I found out that you would have thought I HAD found out I was pregnant. lol The biggest blessing is that our insurance covers the supplies and pump at 100%. Let me introduce you to my new baby...

(If you wonder if this letter is to you...it probably is.) Dear ___________________, I miss the talks we used to have. I know we didn't get to talk too often, but the times we did get the chance to were wonderful. I always felt like we were able to understand and encourage each other. I don't know if I was the one who moved or if it was you, and I don't know if I did something to push you away or make you want to leave, or if it was just life. I love you and think of you and your family often and I hope you are well and pray you are blessed. I hope that one day God allows that we find each other's friendship again. Until that day, I will continue to pray for you and love you like a sister.

For any who follow me on facebook, I'm sure you will remember a status update from me this last week regarding not knowing which career path to follow. At the risk of sounding conceited, I have a lot of talents that REALLY enjoy and and good at. There are also several things that I am passionate about. Taking these two things into account, I was REALLY having a difficult time deciding what path I wanted to pursue. The two that stood out most predominately were full time ministry and doctor of psychiatry. (Don't get me wrong. I fully believe that one must be called to full time ministry and that it should not just be a way to "make money". That is NOT a thought I take lightly.) I got to talking with my friend S.W. tonight and she mentioned something that should have been completely obvious to me. I'm entirely and completely happy being a stay-at-home-mom. I still "work" outside the home by way of doing volunteer work at the church. The work I d...

Jeff has remained in contact with a WONDERFUL supporter and friend of ours, Wally, who works for Total Axxess as the night DJ. I don't remember if I blogged about it or not, but Jeff and I both had the opportunity to guest DJ our personal top 5 Christian songs on Wally's program late last year and have kept in touch through phone and email since then. He's a bit crazy, but he's got a HUGE heart. I went out for a coffee date with a friend and her daughter earlier today, and on my way home I got a message from Jeff telling me I needed to check out Wally's website and take a look at what he had to stay about "OPERATION: H.E.R.O.S Helping Everyone Remember Our Soldiers" Nothing could have prepared me for what he posted there. It means so much to me to see his support of troops in general, but to do what he did for Jeff...for all of us...it brings tears to my eyes. I couldn't do it justice trying to put into words what he has started, so PLEASE check o...

My mother sent this to me in an email earlier tonight and I didn't feel right to NOT share it. Enjoy! When I was a little, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby, I love burned biscuits." Later that night, I went to hug Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burne...

There's so much to catch you up on...thankfully I think everyone who reads this blog I also chat with in real time. We have about 6 months left in our deployment if things go as planned, but with the Army who knows? :) Jeff is in general in good spirits. The days have been hard on him but he's pressing through by the grace of God. We are on course to have around 10K worth of debt paid of by January 1 and I am SO excited. We'll have an almost clean slate to start with when Jeff returns from deployment. I am keeping myself busy trying to get correspondence courses completed, getting MOPS off the ground and keeping Kamden out of trouble. The last thing on its own is a HUGE task! He's found out much he enjoys playing in the dog bowls and has developed an affinity for the taste of dog food...blech. Kibble kisses aren't the most fun but when they come from such a sweetheart, how can I refuse them? He is ALL over the place now. He still crawls part of the time, b...

I have never wanted to blog just to blog. I honestly find my own life fairly boring and average. I have however wanted to blog to make a difference. I know I shouldn't care what others think, that my thoughts should just go down on paper (or via keyboard) and let the chips fall where they may. It irritates me that I have such a passion to write something that impacts people for the better...that inspires them...that makes a difference in some way. We're not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but I look at (as cheesy as it may be) people who have become YouTube celebrities or come from the most normal backgrounds ever to become something major and I think, "Why not me?" I've felt like I was set apart for something huge since I was very young...but I have no idea what it is. I have no idea where to start. I don't even know in what area I want to "change peoples' lives". I have a few ideas, but they seem insane to me...I guess all I c...

So far it's been a very productive day. Kamden is down for a good LONG nap and should wake up in a great mood thanks to it. We got out and got the dogs' nails trimmed and I went to my bestie's house to feed her ADORABLE dog, Lola, while she and her family are in Red River. (SO jealous! But I hope you are having a great time!) After we got back home and had lunch, Kamden played in the walker for a while so Mommy could get babyfood made and laundry started. I have peas, carrots and pears in the deep freezer in their respective gallon sized freezer bags and there are peaches, butternut squash, and green beans in ice cube trays and in the deep freezer getting ready to be transferred to the freezer bags. I have sweet potatoes in the crock pot and just lack getting strawberries and blueberries cooked and into the freezer. I have to wait until Monday to do the last of it though because I am only totally out of ice cube trays at this point. I finished off 5 loads of laundry. Washed...

... SPECIFIC . When it comes to shaping their character, you are am Specific. Whether you're an earth mother or a PTA president (or both!), you're very concerned with setting specific expectations for your kids' behavior. You do this both by telling them what to do and acting as a role model, and, in general, you expect them to follow your careful guidance. As a parent, you think you should be very actively involved in fostering your children's growth, which includes determining what activities they should engage in – sports, tutoring, music, chores, art, yoga, whatever. When it comes to everything from family meals to manners and morals, you know what's best. ...A BENEVOLENT RULER. When it comes to setting rules and expectations with your kids, you're sort of a benevolent dictator – in the nicest way. When you know what's best for them, there's no need to discuss your decisions. But when it's appropriate, you're happy to take a more democratic ...

I miss you a little/Since you've been gone/A few little memories keep hanging on/I miss you a little/I guess you could say/A little too much, a little too often, a little more everyday... I love you, Jeff. Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

If you knew me in high school very well at all, you might remember that I was insanely driven about pursuing a career in professional singing. I went to Colorado on Fall Break my junior year and cut a three track demo. When I graduated, I had already received a couple of scholarships based on music and singing. I went into my first semester of college gung ho and excited to train and continue to pursue my dream. For a music major, the first semester of Freshman year is a full load of music courses with little time for core classes. By the end of my first semester I felt burned out and I gave up. When I chose to take the second semester off, I couldn't have imagined how things would change in my mentality. My junior year of high school, about 6 months after cutting the demo I tried out for Show Choir. I'd tried out every year, but I really thought that for my Senior year's audition, I had nailed it. One of the judges was a band director(not from our school), and I spec...

I had no idea I hadn't blogged in almost a month! Wow! There is so much to fill everyone in on. Where to begin... 1) Jeff was promoted to Sargent on April 16th. I am SO proud of him! He's had the points needed for the promotion going on 7 years now, and he finally received the recognition. It also means a good pay raise, so we are blessed in that respect. It will make it that much easier to get things to where we want and need them to be when he gets home from Iraq. 2) Kamden and I flew to El Paso on the 18th to see Jeff. He had 4 days off before he had to be ready to leave for Iraq. We mainly had a good time of just rest and relaxation being a family, but we did take Kamden to the El Paso Zoo on Monday. He (and we) had such a good time. Kamden and Jeff "being prairie dogs". Kamden thought his voice echoing in the tubes was the greatest! Riding the tiger at the carousel. Ready for a safari! On Wednesday morning we went into downtown El Paso to check out a Robots - ...

10lbs in 10 days. That is NUTS! But definitely inspiration to keep it up. I'm at a current weight loss total since April 2008 of 42 lbs!

Dear Random Person - What makes you think that what you perceive of me in 10 minutes of being in the same room and not even talking to me is all that there is to me or is the truth about me? What right do you have to make me - to make my family members - feel inferior because you feel the need to make fun of and belittle us in front of your children? I'd most like to know...why?

Look at me You may think you see Who I really am But you'll never know me Every day, is as if I play apart Now I seeIf I wear a mask I can fool the world But I can not fool My heart Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? I am now In a world where I have to Hide my heart And what I believe in But somehow I will show the world What's inside my heart And be loved for who I am Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? Why is my I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm Someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? There's a heart that must Be free to fly That burns with a need To know the reason why Why must we all conceal What we think How we feel Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that I'm Someone else For all time When will my reflections show Who I am inside? When will my reflections show Who I am inside?

Yes, Kamden said it today! He's learned SO much in the month since we moved. I can't believe what being around another baby his age 5 days a week has done for him. Since moving, he's done the following: (I know that some of these things don't have a THING to do with being around another baby, but it's been a while since I updated about his accomplishments, so here goes!) *Sitting independently *Pushing himself up to sitting from laying down both on his back and stomach *Clearly saying SEVERAL words (Mama, Dada, Papaw, Dog, Hi, Tuck (Tucker), Love, Jesus) *ENJOYING bathtime - this is quite the accomplishment. *Getting up on all fours *Army crawling to get any and everywhere he wants. I know it may not seem like much considering ALL babies do these things, but considering that 6 weeks ago we were being told that he was severly behind and would need extensive OT and PT to catch up, I'm rejoicing in the miracle of his life and his accomplishments. His entire life...

I want to preface everything I am about to say with this statement. I love, appreciate and support my sweet husband no matter where he is, what he does or what he decides to do in the future. It seems like my biggest issue so far with this whole deployment has to do with the fact that plans for expanding our family must be put on hold. At the risk of sounding like a baby crazed "Octo-Mom" type, I'm eager to have more children. It isn't that I don't enjoy and cherish the moments I'm having with Kamden. I love seeing the new things he learns every day and watching him grow into a handsome little boy. I know that during this deployment especially, Kamden is going to need me more than ever and that the time I spend with him will be even more precious and beneficial than ever. He is my world, my pride and my joy... Still, I desperately want to have more children. Jeff and I talked about this subject a week ago and he asked me if I wanted to try for another ba...

When I finally decide I want to sit down and write out my feelings, I've got nothing. Well, there's lots on my mind but it won't travel from my brain down to my fingers. I guess the best way to put it is things have not been going as well as I thought they would be. I'm trying but not doing so hot.

We are in Texas! We left Marshfield around noon on Friday, February 21st and started to make our way to Texas. We made it to Albert Lea, MN around 5:30 that evening and planned to stop long enough to eat dinner, gas up the car and moving van and drive on a few more hours. One wrong turn into a "No Outlet" area led to the car trailer being wrecked when it turned into the moving van and in turn also crunched my car pretty good. It's mushed up to the point that it won't pass state inspection next month, so we are looking for a new vehicle for me. Back to the point, we stayed overnight in Albert Lea and got up in the morning (after a pretty nasty snow storm) we got going and made our way to Olathe, Kansas. Uneventful, save the insane traffic in Kansas City...it helped me remember why I don't want to live in a truly BIG city. Sunday, we had decided, would be our LAST day on the road. We were all tired and not wanting to spend another day driving, so we decided t...

I know that it has been too long since I posted last, and I'm not sure if anyone even reads this anymore (LOL) but in case someone does, here is the latest and the greatest. Jeff got back from his pre-mobilization training in Florida on Friday. We've had a great few days together, and are very grateful for the days off he has coming up. It turns out that he will be able to have 3-day weekends until the time of official deployment, so we will cherish that time together as well. There still is not a buyer for the house, but we have had an increase in showings and that gives us hope. My parents will be here in 12 days to help us with the last of the packing and loading up of the truck. Two weeks from Wednesday, Kamden and I will head back to Texas with my parents. It has come up so fast. It feels like we were just there for Christmas. There isn't a lot else to report just now, but seeing as Jeff officially deploys in about 3 weeks, expect to see many updates with regards to ...

I know...watch out for smoke, call the newspapers, etc. I really have been doing a lot of thinking over the last week. With Jeff gone and a LOT more quiet time on my hands than I am used to I have had time to ponder, decide on, and entertain the thought of more "resolutions". I'm sure if you are reading here now you've read my blog about new year's promises but I wanted to elaborate a bit on it and add to it. I would ask that if you read and respond by comment with regard to this entry that you consider yourself willing to "hold me accountable" on my promises. I Promise To: *Get our family out of debt by using the money that Jeff makes while deployed. Thanks to the encouragement of some amazing friends, I will be following the method for freedom from debt that is encouraged by Dave Ramsey in his book Total Money Makeover. If you aren't familiar with Mr. Ramsey, I highly, HIGLY recommend and encourage you to familiarize yourself with him. I...

We got into Texas on Sunday, December 21st and managed to get in early enough to surprise my parents at the morning service rather than waiting until mid-afternoon. When we got back to their house after lunch, my mom's sisters, their husbands and my grandmother came over to see us and see Kamden. One of my cousins and his wife and daughter made it over as well. She is just a little older than Kamden (by two months) and she and Kamden hit it off wonderfully. They were holding hands and giving "loves" in just a matter of minutes. It was so great to get the chance to introduce Kamden to the extended family! On Monday evening, we went over to have dinner with my dad's side of the family. It was the first time in 14 years that all grandkids and extended family had been there at the same time and it was AMAZING. Tuesday night my parents took us to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate our birthdays. Jeff had never been and we had a blast. We used up all the tokens to buy stu...

We celebrated the Koopman Family Christmas early so that Jeff, Kamden and I would be able to attend since we were going to Texas for the holidays. We had such a great time! Jeff's oldest sister brought some of the books my mother-in-law had liked to read at Christmas time and had story time with the nieces and nephews before we had gift exchange. While we had already celebrated Thanksgiving without my mother-in-law, it seemed like Christmas was missing something huge without her there. I kept expecting to hear her laugh when all my nieces and nephews joined in a tissue paper war. I even caught myself a couple of times looking around for her. She was definitely missed and will continue to be, but I'm happy for her that she was able to celebrate her first Christmas in Heaven.

Okay...I know that it's "tradition" to make resolutions, but I tend to NEVER keep resolutions. Instead, I propose to make New Year's Promises. I Promise To: *Get our family out of debt by using the money that Jeff makes while deployed. *Lose a HUGE amount of weight. My goal for 12 months is 97 pounds. I promise myself NOW that if I do not reach that full goal in 12 months, I will not beat myself up. However, I do need to make a large dent in that amount in order to start living a healthier, more productive life for myself, my son and my husband. *Get certified as a dental assistant. *Begin a true relationship with Christ and a daily quiet time with him. *Get a good amount of savings built up. *Get in better control of my diabetes. And keep it that way. *Learn to like myself more. *(As trivial as it ay sound) Wash off my makeup EVERY night. Fo' real. What are YOUR promises for this year?