Koopman Kraziness

I don't think I'll ever understand the stigma that still surrounds mental illness. I am an insulin dependent diabetic.  If someone finds out my blood sugar is too high or that I left my insulin at home, they are immediately panicked and I am flooded with questions about what we need to do or how they can help.  Same is true of anyone who receives a cancer diagnosis, a blood pressure or heart related diagnosis or any other number of things that could be mentioned here. Why is mental illness so vastly different?  Why is someone labeled as "crazy" or "disturbed" because of an imbalance of chemicals in their brain?  Why is having depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, coping with self harm or suicidal thoughts so taboo?  Because people think that only "certain types" of people deal with those type of disorders?  Maybe putting it in a little perspective would help. When I went into first grade, I started having panic and anxiety att

As you begin 2018,  I want you to remember a few things.  Everything is doable, but there are times it will require great creativity.  As long as there are new ideas and approaches, there is a way to overcome any obstacle.  The power of your own thoughts is immense and as soon as you learn to harness your thoughts, you will find peace and see great things in your life.   You are loved.  The idea that you are not is a lie and you need to remember that, especially in the dark times.   You have been diagnosed with multiple mental conditions.  There is no shame in this.  It’s no different than taking medication to control your diabetes.  It doesn’t mean you are weak, only that you have been strong for too long.   You have talents locked inside of you that you haven’t utilized in years.  It’s time to start using them again.  You owe it to yourself to be happy and healthy both physically and mentally.   Find you again this year.  Embrace the you that others see and l

School didn't go well today. I noticed when I went to pick Kamden up that all of his classmates had come outside but he had not.  This is never a good sign.  I walked through the hall in the school against the flow of kindergarteners and first graders and tried to keep smiling and not tear up, knowing that when I got to his classroom it was probably not going to be a good scenario.  When I got close to the room, I noticed the principal standing in the doorway, somewhat blocking the door with his body.  I came around his side and glanced into the room, then back at the principal and asked, "Was it a bad day?"  He started to tell me, then stepped aside and I walked into the classroom to find Kamden sitting on the floor against the wall on one side of the room and his teacher standing on the opposite side of the room, smiling a sad smile at me.  I looked back at Kamden, and he was staring off at no one in particular, but he had a definite look of defiance on his face.  His

I've started and stopped this post two or three times now.  I got a quite lengthy post done one night and when I read it back, it seemed to just be complaining.  That's not what I want this blog to be about.  I want it to be candid and reveal all sides to special needs life, but I don't want it to ever come across as a pity party. Life has been difficult lately.  Don't get me wrong.  In many ways, life has been wonderful, but it has been extremely difficult.  Kamden's father is a member of the Texas National Guard and he was deployed to help with relief efforts following the hurricane hitting Houston.  Changes in an autism environment are never easy.  We didn't even really receive notice that his dad was going until we got a text from him at the armory while he was waiting to board the buses.  Kamden is fairly resilient, but between his dad unexpectedly going out of town and all the changes associated with starting a new school year, he's had a really roug

It has been nine months since I took the time to write here, and I regret that.  Writing here has always been cathartic for me.  There's no excuse.  I got distracted by and busy with life and just didn't make time to do it anymore.  After going back and reading some of my old posts, I realized how much I was actually able to get out and sort out just by writing.  That being said, tonight will be a general update and then I'll get into a routine with it all again. Since the last time I wrote, there have been NUMEROUS changes in our lives. Kamden was accepted into a specialized autism program at another school in our district and was moved to attend there at the start of the spring semester last school year.   Within the first three weeks of attending, he was fully potty trained, was excelling in his classes and was showing more independence than I have ever seen him have. We moved out of my parents' home and into our own place.  I was lucky enough to find an apartm

I was talking with a friend this evening and I realized something.  I have a love/hate relationship with social media.  I love being able to see what friends on the other side of the country are doing, or see that people have found true love or are expecting a new bundle of happiness, but at the same time, I hate it. I hate what social media has turned us into.  I hate that I have a hard time going 10 minutes without picking up and checking my phone.  I hate that it interrupts time with my family, friends and significant other.  I hate how easy it has become to pretend to be someone or something that we aren't simply by cropping other people out of a picture or posting only the really good (or really bad) side of a story.  I hate how easy it is to make a passive aggressive comment or share a picture that we "just agree with" when really it's supposed to be a subtle dig at someone we are secretly hoping sees that post. Social media, in many ways, has killed the rel