Here goes...
I want to preface everything I am about to say with this statement.
I love, appreciate and support my sweet husband no matter where he is, what he does or what he decides to do in the future.
It seems like my biggest issue so far with this whole deployment has to do with the fact that plans for expanding our family must be put on hold. At the risk of sounding like a baby crazed "Octo-Mom" type, I'm eager to have more children. It isn't that I don't enjoy and cherish the moments I'm having with Kamden. I love seeing the new things he learns every day and watching him grow into a handsome little boy. I know that during this deployment especially, Kamden is going to need me more than ever and that the time I spend with him will be even more precious and beneficial than ever. He is my world, my pride and my joy... Still, I desperately want to have more children.
Jeff and I talked about this subject a week ago and he asked me if I wanted to try for another baby while he's on leave next month before he leaves for Iraq. I was SO ready to say yes...but broke my own heart when I told him no, that it wouldn't be the most responsible thing to do at this point. After taking into account that my due date would fall closely to his tentative return date from deployment causing his chances of getting to come home for the delivery next to none, considering that once he is back we plan to live with my parents for a while as we find a house in Texas and save up a bit more toward that home and another baby would equal 6 people in the household, as well as some other factors...I know that waiting is the responsible and adult decision - ultimately the ONLY decision - to be made.
What I'd love to know is why, if I know that this is the best decision to make for all involved, does it hurt so badly and not make the desire any less? I've finally started praying for the desire for more children to be completely taken away from me until the day comes that it's the perfect time for all involved. It hurts too much to even think about wanting more knowing that it can't and won't happen for a minimum of another year and a half.
I know, it's only a year and a half. I know, I already have an amazing baby when there are many out there who would do anything to have just one healthy child and here I am complaining about not having another... I'm sorry if it offends anyone. That is not my intention in any way shape or form. If you are one of my friends who is currently expecting, preparing to try for a baby or about to pop, know that I am SO happy for you. I don't mean to sound jealous or downplay your joy in any way... If you are one of my friends who has listened to me whine and bellyache about this IRL - THANK YOU.
I love, appreciate and support my sweet husband no matter where he is, what he does or what he decides to do in the future.
It seems like my biggest issue so far with this whole deployment has to do with the fact that plans for expanding our family must be put on hold. At the risk of sounding like a baby crazed "Octo-Mom" type, I'm eager to have more children. It isn't that I don't enjoy and cherish the moments I'm having with Kamden. I love seeing the new things he learns every day and watching him grow into a handsome little boy. I know that during this deployment especially, Kamden is going to need me more than ever and that the time I spend with him will be even more precious and beneficial than ever. He is my world, my pride and my joy... Still, I desperately want to have more children.
Jeff and I talked about this subject a week ago and he asked me if I wanted to try for another baby while he's on leave next month before he leaves for Iraq. I was SO ready to say yes...but broke my own heart when I told him no, that it wouldn't be the most responsible thing to do at this point. After taking into account that my due date would fall closely to his tentative return date from deployment causing his chances of getting to come home for the delivery next to none, considering that once he is back we plan to live with my parents for a while as we find a house in Texas and save up a bit more toward that home and another baby would equal 6 people in the household, as well as some other factors...I know that waiting is the responsible and adult decision - ultimately the ONLY decision - to be made.
What I'd love to know is why, if I know that this is the best decision to make for all involved, does it hurt so badly and not make the desire any less? I've finally started praying for the desire for more children to be completely taken away from me until the day comes that it's the perfect time for all involved. It hurts too much to even think about wanting more knowing that it can't and won't happen for a minimum of another year and a half.
I know, it's only a year and a half. I know, I already have an amazing baby when there are many out there who would do anything to have just one healthy child and here I am complaining about not having another... I'm sorry if it offends anyone. That is not my intention in any way shape or form. If you are one of my friends who is currently expecting, preparing to try for a baby or about to pop, know that I am SO happy for you. I don't mean to sound jealous or downplay your joy in any way... If you are one of my friends who has listened to me whine and bellyache about this IRL - THANK YOU.
Well I think you are perfectly entitled to feel what you feel! Although I'm not quite where you are as far as already having one and wanting more, I can imagine what it feels like. I want more kids too, sooner rather than later. Just hang in there, hopefully the time will fly by for you!
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