Koopman Kraziness

Several weeks ago, I had the chance to sit and talk with a friend that I don't get the chance to talk to very often.  We both have toddlers about the same age and live two timezones apart, so coordinating talk times is not very easy.  The times that we do get to talk, we generally just have time to get caught up on life in general and the other bare essentials, but this particular night we got to talk for a few hours and it changed my life and my heart in ways I never expected it would. Around this same time, I had a status message up on facebook regarding not knowing what to do with my life.  She shared with me that she had been praying for me and felt impressed to share something with me.  She went on to tell me that I was already doing what I was meant to do with my life: loving and caring about others.  Deep down I was really a Mary and not the Martha I was trying so desperately to be.  (Luke 10)  I'll be honest, at first I was almost offended by s...

After a full week of 5-8 runny diapers a day, Kamden finally had a solid diaper tonight.  I took him into the pediatrician today and they were really baffled.  He had no fever, no lethargy, no loss of appetite or weight, in fact he had gained over a pound in a month, so they were as confused as I was.  Come to find out, there has been a nasty stomach bug OTHER than swine flu that has been going around and in some kiddos it's holding on for  2 weeks.  If that is what he has we're a week in with probiotics and BRAT diet on our side.  We are completely cutting out dairy with the exception of active culture yogurt for the next two days (minimum) and if things aren't better by Wednesday, we are going to have to take stool samples.  PLEASE, God, let this work.

It feels like life is catching up with me. I've been trying my hardest to daily "give it up to God" to "put on a happy face" and to "keep on keeping on", but it seems like that the last week has proven harder and harder each day to do so. The positive outlook I was able to sustain and approach my days with is either faltering or gone now. I find myself unable to face what I see in the mirror day to day and at least twice a day each day on the verge of tears. I'm tired in every way possible and I'm to a place where I'm not sure what to do to get back to my "happy place". I thank the Lord for Kamden. There are days that I know I wouldn't even try if it weren't for him... Sent from my BlackBerry Smartphone provided by Alltel

I'm becoming the mom that I swore I'd never become. You know the kind.  They are the ones that you hear telling their kids several times halfway calmly to "please stop" or "no sir" or "what did Mommy say???"...then the next thing you know they are yelling. I NEVER wanted to be a mom that yelled at my child.  I know he's just learning and trying to figure out what "right" and "wrong" are.  It's my job to teach him that...but in the last week I've caught myself yelling at him at least one a day.  I know it's something I can change...and ONLY I can change...but I feel like I'm failing at the one job I have right now: being Mom and Dad to Kamden...

I just had to share!  I talked with Jeff earlier today and he said that he has several boxes of his personal belongings to go ahead and mail back home...which means...they are getting ready to come home from deployment!  Right now it sounds like the end of January.  In some ways it still feels so far away, but I know with the holidays coming up soon it will FLY!

First, I'd like to apologize for my lack of posting.  It's been a very emotional month and I've not been dealing with it as well as I'd like to make everyone think I have been.  I will make a disclaimer before going any further so that if you aren't in a state of mind to read negative/sad things, you might want to skip this post. I'm doing my best to maintain a positive outlook and don't mean this post to be a gripe list, but I do want to let all know what is going on. The first of the month started with a bang...literally.  Jeff's unit was hit by a  mortar attack while we were talking over video chat.  Thank God, Jeff was/is unharmed despite a mortar landing 30 feet from his room and sending a direct hit to an adjacent room.  It made for many sleepless nights for not only Jeff but for me as well.  We know that God is in control and keeping him safe, but an incident like this definitely puts our mortality into perspective. My dad went to a Nephrologist...

It's one thing to lose a real life, see the person every day in the flesh relationship.  It's going to quite obviously affect the person losing.  Why do people see losing online friends as any different?  Sometimes you can find yourself having an even deeper connection with those you have not met in person because you are more at ease to share your dreams, fears, desires, etc. I said that to say...I get it.  I understand that whatever friendship we had must be over, though I have no idea why.  I did what I could to stay in touch and try to continue cultivating our relationship and for whatever reason that effort was not returned.  As much as I don't want to...I let you go.