Koopman Kraziness

I always say that I need to blog more often, but it's really going to have to happen.  Things are looking like they are going to become really intense and involved over the next few months, and I have to document it all somewhere or I'll never keep track of progress. In regard to my sweet Kamden...  Where do I start?  Just before Spring Break, we started noticing some behavioral changes.  Nothing to severe, but enough to catch attention of those at home as well as school and therapy.  After returning to classes, things seemed to just keep going down hill.  Kamden has been very much not himself in regard to how he acts and reacts to those in authority, and even in how he treats his friends and classmates.  Additionally, he has started to lose his motor coordination, speech processing, and other normal functions.  The most likely cause is that he has started having complications tied to bilateral ventriculomegaly.  We were told after his MRI ...

Can we just talk about how bad I feel to even say that?  All I have ever wanted is to be a mother and have several kids.  So many days now, I find myself cracking jokes about how Kamden's behavior that day is an amazing form of birth control.  I'm sure that to many people who hear my say such things it is shocking and possibly offensive, but I'll let you in on a little secret. I joke to keep from crying. There's always a bit of truth in our joking around or making sarcastic comments whether we want to admit to it or not.  I know that I don't have to explain myself or my feelings to anyone, but I think it might help someone else out there.  If nothing else, you will know you are not alone. Why I Would Not Have Another Child Kamden is SO sensitive to other people and their reactions and emotions that he gets physically upset and at times inconsolable when he sees another person cry.  While I know that this could eventually get better, it is devastat...

This entry began yesterday... It's only 11 am and today has already been awful.  Kamden has yelled all morning and yelled at and was ugly enough to leave my mother in tears.  These are the days I hate the most.  He doesn't at all resemble the child I know he is.  The usually sweet, caring Kamden is masked by a rude,  belligerent, hateful child that I don't know how to deal with other than to make him rest in a dark, quiet room.  A few hours later, he generally is back to himself and apologetic for how he's acted,  but my God...help us all in the mean time. Fast forward to 24-hours later, and we have had a calmer day, but not until we'd had another blow up of a night.  Kamden had taken his nightly dose of medication already and it was obvious it was beginning to take effect.  He lashed out at my mom and my dad both and was quite ugly to them.  It ended up with two very upset and hurt grandparents and a very upset and sobbing 7-...

**I want to preface this by saying that the last few weeks have been highly stressful and there has been much less sleep than usual.  I'm a bit delirious and kind of just doing what I call "word vomit" in hopes that it will calm my mind.  I apologize if this doesn't make sense in parts. ** I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep.  This has been my pattern for almost 2 weeks now.  My mind begins to race when I lay down and while there is so much good going on regarding Kamden right now, there is so much that weighs heavily on my heart and mind. It has hit me recently that we will never have a "normal" life.  One part of me thinks, "What is 'normal' anyway?"  Then there is the other side of me that watches my son live his daily life and that side's heart breaks a little every time I see just how different things are. He has the biggest heart I have ever seen...but he can't control his emotions.  When he sees someone else is ups...

We are now halfway through the school year, and thankfully Kamden is seeing some improvements.  He can almost write his name and can finally cut out things with scissors without cutting through the pictures completely.   He is regularly (at school at least) initiating going to use the bathroom, and most days comes home dry.   Last Saturday, he was presented with a therapy bike called an Amtryke . His is equipped with both pedals and hand cranks and should help build his muscle tone. (One of his diagnoses is motor apraxia .) Most nights, he sleeps through the night with no night terrors and wakes up dry. The school is supposed to be trying to get a special needs aid to sit in on class with him to be a one on one help. Sadly, there are still a lot of things to work on as well. He still is considered about 3 years behind on his basic motor skills.   He is not able to recognize the physical cue to have a bowel movement. His mild OCD seems to be...