Koopman Kraziness

Can we just talk about how bad I feel to even say that?  All I have ever wanted is to be a mother and have several kids.  So many days now, I find myself cracking jokes about how Kamden's behavior that day is an amazing form of birth control.  I'm sure that to many people who hear my say such things it is shocking and possibly offensive, but I'll let you in on a little secret. I joke to keep from crying. There's always a bit of truth in our joking around or making sarcastic comments whether we want to admit to it or not.  I know that I don't have to explain myself or my feelings to anyone, but I think it might help someone else out there.  If nothing else, you will know you are not alone. Why I Would Not Have Another Child Kamden is SO sensitive to other people and their reactions and emotions that he gets physically upset and at times inconsolable when he sees another person cry.  While I know that this could eventually get better, it is devastat...

I refuse to call this a resolutions post...  How about a yearly goal list?  Sound good to you too? Continue working on weight loss and health. Find a job. Get life back on track - financially, emotionally, physically. Get Kamden ready to go into and settled into a school. Give up soda/artificial sugars. Read more. Take more pictures.  I know that I will want and need them down the road. Travel. Write more.  Get my feelings out in a healthy productive way. Celebrate the little victories. Communicate more. Get. Kamden. Pottytrained.  (Don't judge...  It's horribly hard with autism.  :) I promise.) Downsize.  We have WAY more than we need. Create better habits regarding household tasks and time management.

I'm fairly sure just about everyone has said this in their blog post or facebook status, but I can't believe that 2013 is almost out.  Where did this year go?  I thought I'd highlight a few things from the last year in this post and then think out a "resolutions post". January 2013 - I started my second semester back in college and took 13 credit hours.  Yes, it's okay to think I was certifiable. February 2013 - Kamden was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and OCD.  It was incredibly bittersweet because we finally knew what was going on and a direction to go in order to help him, but the diagnosis was hard to hear. March 2013 - I know things happened in March, but I couldn't tell you what.  lol Kamden - 5 years old Playing around before Kamden's Birthday April 2013 - Kamden turned 5.  I still can't believe this and here now he is almost 6.  Get with it Tara. May 2013 - We survived our second anniversary of Kaidi's death...

I fully intend to do updates on these resolutions this year.  Many of them I've somewhat discussed in previous posts, so they will be no surprise, but I might as well "get them down on paper". Continue to get into shape and lose weight.  My target is to be a total of 100 lbs less than I am now by the end of December 2012. Take back control of my diabetes. Find and reignite my relationship with Christ. Develop new habits with regard to household chores and have a change in outlook on them. Have a cleaned and empty sink each night before bed. Have general clutter all picked up (toys, trash, dirty/clean clothes) before bed Learn to divide up large tasks into small intervals so that it doesn't take time away from my family. Have the home as consistently as possible in a state where if someone were to just stop by I'd not be embarrassed to have them come in and sit a while. Remember that it's okay to not have a perfect home.  It means that memories a...