Counseling
Here we sit. We're waiting to see our family counselor for the first time since losing Kaidi. I plan to leave most of the talking to Jeff. He needs to get out more emotion than I do.
-- Sent from my Palm Pixi
24 weeks and a lot of thoughts...
Well, here I am...24 weeks pregnant and looking happy. Between rounds of crying...I AM happy. I enjoy feeling Baby K's movements and taps. I love feeling those things, but sometimes the reminder of the sweet baby growing inside me is more bitter than sweet. I was talking with my mother the other night and I said, "With no fluid, I'm not supposed to feel the baby much if at all. I've felt this baby move every day for over a week now. That has to mean something good right??? I mean, if it doesn't mean something good, then it's all just a cruel joke and extremely unfair." Of course, as I've said before, I'm not giving up so long as there is a heartbeat to be seen and movement to be felt from this child. I know that even if there is a 1:1,000,000 chance that there is still THAT chance that s/he could be fine. However, the longer that I carry this sweet miracle, the more the reality settles in that I'll likely not ever see this child...
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