The Calm After the Storm



This entry began yesterday...

It's only 11 am and today has already been awful.  Kamden has yelled all morning and yelled at and was ugly enough to leave my mother in tears.  These are the days I hate the most.  He doesn't at all resemble the child I know he is.  The usually sweet, caring Kamden is masked by a rude,  belligerent, hateful child that I don't know how to deal with other than to make him rest in a dark, quiet room.  A few hours later, he generally is back to himself and apologetic for how he's acted,  but my God...help us all in the mean time.

Fast forward to 24-hours later, and we have had a calmer day, but not until we'd had another blow up of a night.  Kamden had taken his nightly dose of medication already and it was obvious it was beginning to take effect.  He lashed out at my mom and my dad both and was quite ugly to them.  It ended up with two very upset and hurt grandparents and a very upset and sobbing 7-year-old who didn't know why he was being ugly.  I got him into my room, under his weighted blanket, lights off and watching the same three videos we always watch on YouTube, and he finally fell asleep.  

We had started a new dose of Clonidine about three weeks ago for his hyperactivity and obsessive compulsive behaviors.  Two of the main side effects of the medication are tiredness and dizziness.  I truly think that he's been acting out, in part, because of the new dosage.  By this point, he should have leveled off and not be having such bad side effects, but it seems to just be getting worse.  I made the decision to back off his dosage to what he was taking before when he got his morning dose this morning.  We have added in the use of essential oils specifically blended for anxiety.  

That's the thing about autism.  Literally everything is trial and error.  What works one day may not work at all the next day.  Today he may crave strong hugs and pressure to calm him where tomorrow he may completely flip out if you touch him.  Loud sounds are almost always comforting to him (ironic, right?) but occasionally they set him off like nothing you've ever seen.

I'm thankful that today was calmer.  It wasn't perfect...but better is amazing.  

Baby steps.  

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