The Time In Between

I stole this blog post title from a singer I like.  I think it really fits how I feel.

What are you "in between", Tara?  Well... losing my daughter and feeling like I can fully move on, to be honest.  And by moving on I mean feeling like I can love another child as an individual and not as a replacement for Kaidi.  Feeling whole again as a family of three and being able to fully focus on and appreciate my son and husband without the thought of, "But I want HER" being there on a constant basis.  I know I'll always want her, but at some point I'll be able to accept that it's not going to happen in this life and be able to be okay with it.

I did however come to the conclusion that I need to be distracted.  Not to the point that I don't deal with losing her, but to where I am forced to function on a daily basis.  After doing a lot of thinking and planning I've got a list of things that I plan to do - some are daily, some weekly and some only monthly - to keep me busy until the time comes that I'm okay to move on and start a new chapter in life.


  1. Selling Avon - I have done this before, but never as a means of income.  We recently got some unsettling news about Jeff's GI Bill and I'm working on helping supplement some of the issue.  I'm excited to see what God has in store in this venture.  http://www.youravon.com/tkoopman
  2. Kaidi's Kreations: This is a hair bow/blanket store that I started in memory of my daughter.  Ideally I'd like all income from this to go to either March of Dimes or to a foundation who researches Potters Syndrome.   https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kaidis-Kreations/145789082113636
  3. As Unto Him (Cleaning business) - I started this last fall to bring in some extra money towards our personal savings and to help on months that there was more month than money.  Business has been picking up so I'm hoping to continue that and see a good return soon.   https://www.facebook.com/pages/As-Unto-Him/219527158090019
  4. Assisting with teaching the new study for our church women's group - I was asked Sunday if I would like to help.  I've actually read the book before and found it to be deeply and profoundly helpful in my own life.  I'm excited to help!
  5. Start a young couples group at church - We are growing in the number of young families who come to our church and I'd really like to see at least a group where we can get together and socialize/have fellowship.  That's my goal to have started by the end of May.
  6. Cleaning the church - I've done this for a few years now and it helps to bring in a tiny bit of income as well.  
  7. Church paperwork - I take care of the church calendars and bulletins weekly. It's something small but something I can do.
  8. Web design - I take care of the web design for the church and will be for a friend who is starting his own business soon.  It allows me to let my inner geek out.  haha
  9. Homeschool - I have always planned to homeschool Kamden.  I'll be researching the guidelines over the summer and will start with him in the fall.
  10. School - I am doing correspondence courses to get my certification as a social worker/psychologist (counseling).  Once I complete that, I plan to "attend" a 4-year program correspondence wise as well.
It seems like a lot, and maybe it is, but I need to be able to help my family financially and still help others.  These are the best ways I know to do it.

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