Dyed by Her Own Hands...
Alright...anyone who has talked to me or known me for any length of time knows that I have had many a hair color. This has never been more true than in the last year or so. As soon as I knew I was safe to dye my hair while pregnant, I had a new hair color every month.
I started realizing something about it once Kamden arrived though. My hair color changes started only accompanying huge life changes or times of high stress. A few months ago my hair progressed in order of the following pictures in a matter of three days. This was the week we found out my mother in law had passed away.
Most recently we have the following scenario. I tell Jeff I'm thinking of dying my hair again and ask him what color he'd like to see. He suggests auburn as I've had it before and he loved the look. It turns the color in the second picture and I freak out and the color in the third picture happens in a matter of about half an hour. This "decision" accompanies finding out a soldier in Jeff's unit has been killed. (the first picture is not taken in the same week but it IS the color I started with)
What started out as harmless fun and a way to play with my look has turned into an addiction and a way I attempt to "escape" when things get too stressful or bad things happen. Granted it's not drugs, alcohol, sex addiction or other destructive behavior...but to me it IS a drug. There's some high that comes off of "being someone new" and thinking that just MAYBE that "new" person can handle what's happening a little better than the "old" one could have.
So, today, I bought a bleaching kit and the closest color to my natural color (or what I remember it being in high school before I ever put ANYTHING on my hair) and I stripped my own hair and put on the new color. I wasn't able to get all of the red out, so every 6 weeks I will use the EXACT SAME COLOR until the red has grown out and been cut off. Once that happens, I'm not dying it anymore. If I get highlights or something, I'll pay to have them done. I need to stop hiding behind a box of Clairol or Nice and Easy and start dealing with what bothers me.
Feel free to laugh...Lord knows I feel silly even making this entry, but those of you who read this I feel care about me enough to want to know even the "stupid" stuff so there it is. In my case, this was an addiction, a self destructive behavior and an EXPENSIVE behavior. It's got to stop.
I started realizing something about it once Kamden arrived though. My hair color changes started only accompanying huge life changes or times of high stress. A few months ago my hair progressed in order of the following pictures in a matter of three days. This was the week we found out my mother in law had passed away.
Most recently we have the following scenario. I tell Jeff I'm thinking of dying my hair again and ask him what color he'd like to see. He suggests auburn as I've had it before and he loved the look. It turns the color in the second picture and I freak out and the color in the third picture happens in a matter of about half an hour. This "decision" accompanies finding out a soldier in Jeff's unit has been killed. (the first picture is not taken in the same week but it IS the color I started with)
What started out as harmless fun and a way to play with my look has turned into an addiction and a way I attempt to "escape" when things get too stressful or bad things happen. Granted it's not drugs, alcohol, sex addiction or other destructive behavior...but to me it IS a drug. There's some high that comes off of "being someone new" and thinking that just MAYBE that "new" person can handle what's happening a little better than the "old" one could have.
So, today, I bought a bleaching kit and the closest color to my natural color (or what I remember it being in high school before I ever put ANYTHING on my hair) and I stripped my own hair and put on the new color. I wasn't able to get all of the red out, so every 6 weeks I will use the EXACT SAME COLOR until the red has grown out and been cut off. Once that happens, I'm not dying it anymore. If I get highlights or something, I'll pay to have them done. I need to stop hiding behind a box of Clairol or Nice and Easy and start dealing with what bothers me.
Feel free to laugh...Lord knows I feel silly even making this entry, but those of you who read this I feel care about me enough to want to know even the "stupid" stuff so there it is. In my case, this was an addiction, a self destructive behavior and an EXPENSIVE behavior. It's got to stop.
while I have never dyed my hair as frequently as you, I too went through a phase like yours. I felt like I was dying it too much. so once my hair grew out long enough, I chopped off 10 inches and donated it. Then vowed not to color my hair again. That lasted about 18 months. Since then I would say I have colored it 7 times in 4 years.
ReplyDeleteWell you go on with your bad self!!! I haven't dyed my hair in forever...but my gray is taking over...and good for you! Facing things head on can be so much for fulfilling inthe long run....
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