Koopman Kraziness

I was talking with a friend this evening and I realized something.  I have a love/hate relationship with social media.  I love being able to see what friends on the other side of the country are doing, or see that people have found true love or are expecting a new bundle of happiness, but at the same time, I hate it. I hate what social media has turned us into.  I hate that I have a hard time going 10 minutes without picking up and checking my phone.  I hate that it interrupts time with my family, friends and significant other.  I hate how easy it has become to pretend to be someone or something that we aren't simply by cropping other people out of a picture or posting only the really good (or really bad) side of a story.  I hate how easy it is to make a passive aggressive comment or share a picture that we "just agree with" when really it's supposed to be a subtle dig at someone we are secretly hoping sees that post. Social media, in many ways, has kil...

Well, sickness has hit the house again.  Kamden started with the sniffles a couple of days ago, but hadn't been showing any signs of feeling badly in general, so I opted to just watch him.  The next day we had coughing starting up, but again, nothing major.  Yesterday, his sinuses looked to be swollen and Over the course of the night last night, his cough turned very wet and he was gagging and gasping for air part of the time.  I got him comfortable and he slept through the night.   * Disclaimer - before anyone freaks out and says I should have gone to the ER, this sort of thing happens in our house like clockwork about every 6 weeks.  We have a nebulizer and medication on hand to take care of any asthma attacks or breathing troubles that may come up, so I was prepared and we were watching carefully.*  Fast forward to this morning - his sinuses seemed less inflamed, but his cough sounded terrible and it was causing him to dry heave and gag.  I o...

I always say that I need to blog more often, but it's really going to have to happen.  Things are looking like they are going to become really intense and involved over the next few months, and I have to document it all somewhere or I'll never keep track of progress. In regard to my sweet Kamden...  Where do I start?  Just before Spring Break, we started noticing some behavioral changes.  Nothing to severe, but enough to catch attention of those at home as well as school and therapy.  After returning to classes, things seemed to just keep going down hill.  Kamden has been very much not himself in regard to how he acts and reacts to those in authority, and even in how he treats his friends and classmates.  Additionally, he has started to lose his motor coordination, speech processing, and other normal functions.  The most likely cause is that he has started having complications tied to bilateral ventriculomegaly.  We were told after his MRI ...

I despise the word "normal" for a variety of reasons, but primarily simply this: Everyone has a different definition of what "normal" is.  For some, working all night and sleeping all day is normal.  For others, being shot at on a daily basis is normal.  For still others, normal involves the general stereotype - 2.5 kids, mom and dad in the same home where either dad works and mom stays home or both work. Here's what "normal" looks like for my little family. I (Mom) go to school full time.  I completed my Associates of Science in Biology this semester, but I start back full time at the end of January to work on my Bachelors in Biotechnology and a minor in Psychology.  I also work two unconventional jobs.  Currently I work for myself as a housekeeper for a handful of faithful clients and I am getting a new business as a Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay off the ground.  I'm fully aware that I need to make more money than I do ...

I get told all the time by people in my life what a good mom I am to Kamden.  I can never thank anyone enough for saying so, but I have the hardest time believing it. Let me explain. I bust my butt to make sure Kamden has what he needs to the fullest of my ability.  I'll pick up odd jobs to make money fast to cover extra expenses, push for help at school, make sure he's at therapies and that the therapists are up to date on anything new going on with him.  I double check to make sure he's received his medication on time and that he's used his essential oils for the day and I make sure that he has his doctor's appointments on time. However... Tonight is the first time I have ever played tag with my son. I get so caught up in all the things he appears to need that it becomes easy for me to forget that the thing he needs the most is me. I forget that just being in the same room is not the same as spending time with him.  He needs me to be his mother and his a...

Can we just talk about how bad I feel to even say that?  All I have ever wanted is to be a mother and have several kids.  So many days now, I find myself cracking jokes about how Kamden's behavior that day is an amazing form of birth control.  I'm sure that to many people who hear my say such things it is shocking and possibly offensive, but I'll let you in on a little secret. I joke to keep from crying. There's always a bit of truth in our joking around or making sarcastic comments whether we want to admit to it or not.  I know that I don't have to explain myself or my feelings to anyone, but I think it might help someone else out there.  If nothing else, you will know you are not alone. Why I Would Not Have Another Child Kamden is SO sensitive to other people and their reactions and emotions that he gets physically upset and at times inconsolable when he sees another person cry.  While I know that this could eventually get better, it is devastat...

This entry began yesterday... It's only 11 am and today has already been awful.  Kamden has yelled all morning and yelled at and was ugly enough to leave my mother in tears.  These are the days I hate the most.  He doesn't at all resemble the child I know he is.  The usually sweet, caring Kamden is masked by a rude,  belligerent, hateful child that I don't know how to deal with other than to make him rest in a dark, quiet room.  A few hours later, he generally is back to himself and apologetic for how he's acted,  but my God...help us all in the mean time. Fast forward to 24-hours later, and we have had a calmer day, but not until we'd had another blow up of a night.  Kamden had taken his nightly dose of medication already and it was obvious it was beginning to take effect.  He lashed out at my mom and my dad both and was quite ugly to them.  It ended up with two very upset and hurt grandparents and a very upset and sobbing 7-...