Mental Illness is Just That...Illness
I don't think I'll ever understand the stigma that still surrounds mental illness.
I am an insulin dependent diabetic. If someone finds out my blood sugar is too high or that I left my insulin at home, they are immediately panicked and I am flooded with questions about what we need to do or how they can help. Same is true of anyone who receives a cancer diagnosis, a blood pressure or heart related diagnosis or any other number of things that could be mentioned here.
Why is mental illness so vastly different? Why is someone labeled as "crazy" or "disturbed" because of an imbalance of chemicals in their brain? Why is having depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, coping with self harm or suicidal thoughts so taboo? Because people think that only "certain types" of people deal with those type of disorders? Maybe putting it in a little perspective would help.
When I went into first grade, I started having panic and anxiety attacks. We didn't know what it was until I was much, much older, but every single day I attended class, I spent the better part of three quarters of the day in tears, convinced my family would die while I was gone. When I was home, I didn't sleep because of the same fear. In my 7 year old mind, if I wasn't on constant, and vigilant, watch then my family would most surely die.
Fast forward to when I was a sophomore in high school. One too many times of being bullied, too much responsibility on my shoulders between work and due to unavoidable situations at home. I tried to kill myself. Thankfully, my dad answered the phone call I made when I decided that if I wasn't meant to do it that someone would answer the incessant ringing of my repeated calls. My doctor advised I be put on suicide watch until I graduated.
Now, ahead to 18. Fresh out of high school and supposed to be excited about my future, right? Nope. I was finding myself regularly seeing the same doctor at urgent care about thoughts of self harm and debilitating depression. Only after being officially diagnosed with chronic depression did I find out that there was a family history of chemically induced depression.
Four years later, I was raped. I'd been sexually abused since I was 8, but never raped. As a result of that rape, I became pregnant and lost the baby. I actually only found out I was pregnant during the miscarriage.
Six years after that, I faced burying my 40 minute old daughter and within two more years, we discovered that Kamden was autistic. During the months immediately following my daughter's death, I started attending grief counseling and was given a series of tests to determine the level of depression, self harm risk and tendency toward bipolar disorder. 8 months after losing Kaidi, I was diagnose with manic bipolar depression. I fought the diagnosis until quite recently because, c'mon. Only CRAZY people are bipolar, right?? I couldn't have been more wrong.
In reality, plenty of really strong people battle with mental illness. People who have fought and been strong for years and who are just tired. People who are there for everyone else because it's in their nature and who don't tend to ask for help from anyone. People who have fought silently and finally were brave enough to ask for help. It's not the crazies or the people you should be afraid of. It's your neighbors and family members.
Illness requires treatment. Medicinal, spiritual, natural....but SOMETHING. It's already a struggle. Why do we as society make it that much harder on people who are trying to get better?
I am an insulin dependent diabetic. If someone finds out my blood sugar is too high or that I left my insulin at home, they are immediately panicked and I am flooded with questions about what we need to do or how they can help. Same is true of anyone who receives a cancer diagnosis, a blood pressure or heart related diagnosis or any other number of things that could be mentioned here.
Why is mental illness so vastly different? Why is someone labeled as "crazy" or "disturbed" because of an imbalance of chemicals in their brain? Why is having depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, coping with self harm or suicidal thoughts so taboo? Because people think that only "certain types" of people deal with those type of disorders? Maybe putting it in a little perspective would help.
When I went into first grade, I started having panic and anxiety attacks. We didn't know what it was until I was much, much older, but every single day I attended class, I spent the better part of three quarters of the day in tears, convinced my family would die while I was gone. When I was home, I didn't sleep because of the same fear. In my 7 year old mind, if I wasn't on constant, and vigilant, watch then my family would most surely die.
Fast forward to when I was a sophomore in high school. One too many times of being bullied, too much responsibility on my shoulders between work and due to unavoidable situations at home. I tried to kill myself. Thankfully, my dad answered the phone call I made when I decided that if I wasn't meant to do it that someone would answer the incessant ringing of my repeated calls. My doctor advised I be put on suicide watch until I graduated.
Now, ahead to 18. Fresh out of high school and supposed to be excited about my future, right? Nope. I was finding myself regularly seeing the same doctor at urgent care about thoughts of self harm and debilitating depression. Only after being officially diagnosed with chronic depression did I find out that there was a family history of chemically induced depression.
Four years later, I was raped. I'd been sexually abused since I was 8, but never raped. As a result of that rape, I became pregnant and lost the baby. I actually only found out I was pregnant during the miscarriage.
Six years after that, I faced burying my 40 minute old daughter and within two more years, we discovered that Kamden was autistic. During the months immediately following my daughter's death, I started attending grief counseling and was given a series of tests to determine the level of depression, self harm risk and tendency toward bipolar disorder. 8 months after losing Kaidi, I was diagnose with manic bipolar depression. I fought the diagnosis until quite recently because, c'mon. Only CRAZY people are bipolar, right?? I couldn't have been more wrong.
In reality, plenty of really strong people battle with mental illness. People who have fought and been strong for years and who are just tired. People who are there for everyone else because it's in their nature and who don't tend to ask for help from anyone. People who have fought silently and finally were brave enough to ask for help. It's not the crazies or the people you should be afraid of. It's your neighbors and family members.
Illness requires treatment. Medicinal, spiritual, natural....but SOMETHING. It's already a struggle. Why do we as society make it that much harder on people who are trying to get better?
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