Koopman Kraziness

I refuse to call this a resolutions post...  How about a yearly goal list?  Sound good to you too? Continue working on weight loss and health. Find a job. Get life back on track - financially, emotionally, physically. Get Kamden ready to go into and settled into a school. Give up soda/artificial sugars. Read more. Take more pictures.  I know that I will want and need them down the road. Travel. Write more.  Get my feelings out in a healthy productive way. Celebrate the little victories. Communicate more. Get. Kamden. Pottytrained.  (Don't judge...  It's horribly hard with autism.  :) I promise.) Downsize.  We have WAY more than we need. Create better habits regarding household tasks and time management.

I'm fairly sure just about everyone has said this in their blog post or facebook status, but I can't believe that 2013 is almost out.  Where did this year go?  I thought I'd highlight a few things from the last year in this post and then think out a "resolutions post". January 2013 - I started my second semester back in college and took 13 credit hours.  Yes, it's okay to think I was certifiable. February 2013 - Kamden was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and OCD.  It was incredibly bittersweet because we finally knew what was going on and a direction to go in order to help him, but the diagnosis was hard to hear. March 2013 - I know things happened in March, but I couldn't tell you what.  lol Kamden - 5 years old Playing around before Kamden's Birthday April 2013 - Kamden turned 5.  I still can't believe this and here now he is almost 6.  Get with it Tara. May 2013 - We survived our second anniversary of Kaidi's death...

...worn?  Tired?  Exhausted?  Out of ideas?  LOL I'm keeping up an insane pace lately.  Things should slow down some around the first of the year, but as it stands now there's something going on every day.  I don't know how parents of multiple children do it and I want you to know that I applaud you! A typical week for us is as follows: Monday: Laundry Day 1-2 hours of homeschooling for Kamden Working on homework for college or pharmacy tech classes An hour to an hour and a half at the gym Math Class for 3 hours (night class) Dinner/Bedtime "rituals" for Kamden Math homework and studying (it's a fast track class so there's no waiting to do the homework) History exam (weekly) Tuesday: Cleaning job in the mornings Lunch Kamden goes to occupational therapy 1-2 hours of homeschooling for Kamden Finishing up any remaining laundry Studying for history class and pharmacy tech classes Wednesday: Grief/PTSD therapy every other week 1-2 hours...

I'm not even going to apologize for the lack of posting this time.  I think I'll just explain myself instead. The last time I posted here was sometime around early to mid-June.  I had an eight week summer class in Child Developmental Psychology which was a lot of fun, but was also very intense.  I also started taking on extra cleaning clients to help with the expense of Kamden's occupational and behavioral therapies, so time was short on hand. First day of hydro-therapy We started working toward getting Kamden ready for Kindergarten and had him assessed by the school for special needs assistance for his autism.  A very long story short, the determination made by the assessment team was that Kamden is "not autistic" and does not need or qualify for special need help through the public school system.  Normally, this would be a wonderful thing to hear and most parents would feel a sense of relief.  I was terrified.  It is HARD to get a diagnosis o...

It's been a long, long time since I cried happy tears.  As one of my best friends told me when I shared it with him today, "It's about time you had some of those." Kamden went to Occupational Therapy today and was put back onto the Pedalo.  The first time he was put on it, we did ONE time up and back down the hallway and he cried and fought it the entire time.  It works not only on core strength, but also on coordination skills and the ability to self correct foot and hand positions.  He was FLYING today.  His therapist could hardly keep up! This may not seem like that big of a deal, but my gosh...  I wish I'd taken video of him that first try so you could see the difference for yourselves!

Kamden is still working hard in occupational therapy.  He's a sneaky little thing though and likes to play tricks on his therapist by pretending he doesn't know exactly what she's asking him to do or "accidentally" going the wrong direction on the scooter boards.  Thankfully, his therapist has an amazing sense of humor and will just laugh with and tickle him and put him back on task.  This week, Kamden's task was to walk himself down the hall using his heels while seated on a scooter board, select a bead in a series listed on a card he'd drawn and scoot back.  Then he had to string the bead onto a long shoelace, find the card again, select the next bead in the series and repeat.  He did really well - save a couple of distracted moments where he ran into the physical therapy room and had to jump on the trampoline.  After finishing his bead task, he was to work some on writing skills.  Ms. Marcia asked him what he wanted to draw and naturally he answered...

Well, right where we've been for ages, but quite a bit busier than we have been in a while. Jeff started work at a local car dealership about a week and a half ago and has already made his first sale.  He seems to be enjoying the work (pretty much anything to do with cars is a winner in his book) and the people he works with.  As irony would play out, we had a HUGE hail storm just a couple of days after he started there, so he's getting the challenge of selling cars with hail damage.  He wound up doing two interviews the day he turned in his application and then was sent to do the standard drug testing.  The job had to have been appointed of God, as it took less than 4 hours to get his background check and drug tests back.  I haven't ever heard of either of those things coming back so quickly.  He does work primarily on a commission status, so it's nerve wracking to not know exactly how much our income will be monthly, but I feel good about it all. I st...

My babies and I. I love him so, so much.  I can't even put it into words. Sweet Boy Stylish men ready for church Kamden spending time with Kaidance on Mother's Day.  He wanted a chance to "play" with her.

Kamden has been doing occupational therapy sessions for about 2 months now and seems to really be liking it.  The main things they are focusing on right now is sequencing, fine motor skills and core muscle strength.  I wanted to share pictures (and a video!) from some of his sessions to share the type of work they have him doing.  Soon, I'll write a general update post and give his assessment results, his current issues and current triumphs. This particular activity involved Kamden going through an obstacle course repeatedly to get 2-3 pegs at a time to create the shape he was to build and then use a string as "needle and thread" to thread the pegs together. As a reward for finishing his work without (much) complaining, he was allowed to play basketball. He's still getting used to a new medication dosage and in mid-sentence he passed out on me about 30 minutes before Occupational Therapy time. This activity involved smooshing...

I've been thinking a lot recently about what ticks me off.  lol  I know, great topic to meditate on, isn't it? If you know me at all, you know that I am pretty laid back and don't get too upset about things in general.  However, compared to a few years ago, I'm actually much more high strung.  My fuse is shorter, the kinds of things that irritate me now in comparison to then are quite different and for the things that are the same, I am much more likely to speak up on the topic quickly rather than to sit back and ignore it like I would have before. While I do still sympathize with people's daily struggles and concerns, things that I would have been extremely empathetic toward in the past I now find myself fighting the urge to say, "You do realize it's really not THAT big of a deal, right?"  See, that makes me sound like a complete jerk.  It isn't that I don't care about those things.  My entire perspective changed the day I found out Kaidi ...

I was looking back over the posts I've made recently, and I just wanted to clear something up.  I'm not depressed all the time.  From the way I've been writing I'm sure it somewhat seems that way.  I won't lie, my life right now is more stressful than I think it has ever been, but I'm not unhappy. I enjoy school.  It's time consuming, but I'm good at it and I really feel like I'm truly learning my craft and will be successful at what I've set out to do.  Kamden is a challenge.  We face something new every day it seems like.  Then again, what parent doesn't?  Every day for every child is a "first" day for them.  There are new challenges, new things to be learned, etc.  I just am realizing with Kamden that what is "normal" for one of his friends may not be his "normal" and that it's completely okay.  His sweet and caring times FAR outweigh his hard times, and even if that were reversed, he'd be worth ever...

It's been a long time since I have written to you, my sweet girl.  I've been pushing aside my feelings about you for months and I can't anymore. Your brother is going to be 5 next month.  He still asks me about you, but not nearly as frequently.  We had to stop taking him to the cemetery because he started asking when we could bring you home with us and would get extremely upset when I told him you never got to come home. The thing is, I know you are HOME.  I know you are complete.  I just can't explain that to him.  I really wish that I could. So many people are having babies lately.  It makes me miss you more than I could ever let on.  I miss knowing you are growing inside my belly...feeling the tiny kicks and movements I was told I would never be able to feel because of your condition.  I wake up many days thinking, "Oh what would I give for some morning sickness!"  However, we know the time isn't right and is far from being. ...

Ironically, we've been talking about the effects of stress on the human body a lot in my Anatomy class.. I didn't expect to become a visual aide. I feel like I should disclaimer this with the statement that I KNOW things could be worse and that people out there have it much harder than I do, but this is my blog, I need to vent any there's an "x" button in the upper right corner if it gets to be too much. That being said... I've made it through school to Spring Break. That's right, spring semester is half over. Most classes are going well. I really messed up at the start of my semester with Sociology. Thanks to that fact, I've got extra work over Spring break. Here's my spring break school work run down: 1. Watch or read and write a play analysis over any Shakespearean play BUT Romeo and Juliet. (Due tonight) 2. Math test (due tomorrow) 3. Read two teacher written books, do one mandatory 30-page assignment over book one, and an extra c...

 The more that I read and talk to people who are familiar with autism and the education side of things in the autism community, the more I am learning about picture/word association.  The biggest issue a person with autism faces is the ability to communicate effectively.  It may be that they are unable to adequately express their own feelings, desires and needs, or it may be that they are unable to completely understand what is being communicated to them.  Think about how many times in your own life someone has said something and you either thought or said, "That's what I meant!" or "You took the words right out of my mouth."  For a person with autism, pictures can do the same for them.  When they cannot find the right words to express themselves, it is much easier to point at  or draw a picture, a color or a symbol instead.   I've included pictures in this post of things we are beginning to use in our house.