Koopman Kraziness

We are now halfway through the school year, and thankfully Kamden is seeing some improvements.  He can almost write his name and can finally cut out things with scissors without cutting through the pictures completely.   He is regularly (at school at least) initiating going to use the bathroom, and most days comes home dry.   Last Saturday, he was presented with a therapy bike called an Amtryke . His is equipped with both pedals and hand cranks and should help build his muscle tone. (One of his diagnoses is motor apraxia .) Most nights, he sleeps through the night with no night terrors and wakes up dry. The school is supposed to be trying to get a special needs aid to sit in on class with him to be a one on one help. Sadly, there are still a lot of things to work on as well. He still is considered about 3 years behind on his basic motor skills.   He is not able to recognize the physical cue to have a bowel movement. His mild OCD seems to be...

My gosh... I have got to get back to posting entries more regularly.  I love everyone who reads here, but not even so much for the sake for your having something to read.  Writing has become therapy for me.  I think at times I intentionally avoid writing because I don't want the "bad stuff" to show...but this is going to be something for me to look back on in the years to come and I need to have it documented to see where I've come from. Where to begin...  I am still working part time and going to school full time.  I changed my major to Biology and am working on a double degree in Genetic therapy and Pathology.  I should graduate with my associates degree in Biology in December 2015, if everything goes as planned.  I will then be spending two more semesters at my current college to complete a second associates in Psychology.  I'm not sure what the plan is after that.  I may stay really local until my bachelors level work is done, but after...

That Kamden always remembers his baby sister.  He still loves her so much... But I also hope that by the grace of God, even being special needs, that one day he understands death and that I can't "bring her home from the grass".  So many times those first few months I had to fight the urge to dig with my bare hands just to hold her again... It's not his fault...but every time he asks...every time he kisses her picture on her headstone...that same desire comes back.  I want him to have her.  He loves babies...he would be an incredible big brother... And my God...the guilt when he crawls into bed, pats my back when I thought I'd been crying silently enough for no one to know and says, "I know, Momma, I know...I'm here and you just need love."  He's six!  He shouldn't be the one comforting me... I just want to feel whole. Complete.  And I never will.  That one piece will never be found to complete the puzzle. I hope that now that this is o...

I generally have no issues with anyone commenting that they are offended or put off by my blog posts, but I feel like I should put the disclaimer that I'm writing this particular post with a quite heavy heart and extremely raw emotions.  It is not my intent to offend or hurt anyone who may read this, but to help to educate and speak for those who feel like they don't have the words anymore.  I will use generalizations in the form of "we/us/they" but in no way believe that I am speaking for everyone who is related to this topic, but merely sharing the feelings of those who I have talked to most frequently.  That being said, and you being warned, let's begin. In the last 3 days I have seen two different posts by two different moms.  One has lost an infant and one is in the middle of a scary process of numerous tests and surgeries to try to give her yet unborn daughter a chance at a "normal life".  In both posts, the mother was either accused of  somethin...

Hey, it's never bad to readjust your focus, right? 3 month goals (June 2014) - Drop into the 2teens rather than the 230's - Run in the Amarillo Color Run - Work out 5 x a week - Complete Spring semester with all A's 6 month goals (September 2014) - Drop to 200 or less - Build up AdvoCare business - Be in a better place mentally and emotionally - Finish Summer semesters with all A's - Get Kamden into school 9 month goals (December 2014 - my birthday!!!) - Be a member of One-derland (for you non-weight loss fanatics, this just means to be in the 100's) - Be financially stable - Finish Fall Semester with all A's... (seeing a trend here..?)