Koopman Kraziness

I'm becoming the mom that I swore I'd never become. You know the kind.  They are the ones that you hear telling their kids several times halfway calmly to "please stop" or "no sir" or "what did Mommy say???"...then the next thing you know they are yelling. I NEVER wanted to be a mom that yelled at my child.  I know he's just learning and trying to figure out what "right" and "wrong" are.  It's my job to teach him that...but in the last week I've caught myself yelling at him at least one a day.  I know it's something I can change...and ONLY I can change...but I feel like I'm failing at the one job I have right now: being Mom and Dad to Kamden...

I just had to share!  I talked with Jeff earlier today and he said that he has several boxes of his personal belongings to go ahead and mail back home...which means...they are getting ready to come home from deployment!  Right now it sounds like the end of January.  In some ways it still feels so far away, but I know with the holidays coming up soon it will FLY!

First, I'd like to apologize for my lack of posting.  It's been a very emotional month and I've not been dealing with it as well as I'd like to make everyone think I have been.  I will make a disclaimer before going any further so that if you aren't in a state of mind to read negative/sad things, you might want to skip this post. I'm doing my best to maintain a positive outlook and don't mean this post to be a gripe list, but I do want to let all know what is going on. The first of the month started with a bang...literally.  Jeff's unit was hit by a  mortar attack while we were talking over video chat.  Thank God, Jeff was/is unharmed despite a mortar landing 30 feet from his room and sending a direct hit to an adjacent room.  It made for many sleepless nights for not only Jeff but for me as well.  We know that God is in control and keeping him safe, but an incident like this definitely puts our mortality into perspective. My dad went to a Nephrologist...

It's one thing to lose a real life, see the person every day in the flesh relationship.  It's going to quite obviously affect the person losing.  Why do people see losing online friends as any different?  Sometimes you can find yourself having an even deeper connection with those you have not met in person because you are more at ease to share your dreams, fears, desires, etc. I said that to say...I get it.  I understand that whatever friendship we had must be over, though I have no idea why.  I did what I could to stay in touch and try to continue cultivating our relationship and for whatever reason that effort was not returned.  As much as I don't want to...I let you go.