Koopman Kraziness

I fully intend to do updates on these resolutions this year.  Many of them I've somewhat discussed in previous posts, so they will be no surprise, but I might as well "get them down on paper". Continue to get into shape and lose weight.  My target is to be a total of 100 lbs less than I am now by the end of December 2012. Take back control of my diabetes. Find and reignite my relationship with Christ. Develop new habits with regard to household chores and have a change in outlook on them. Have a cleaned and empty sink each night before bed. Have general clutter all picked up (toys, trash, dirty/clean clothes) before bed Learn to divide up large tasks into small intervals so that it doesn't take time away from my family. Have the home as consistently as possible in a state where if someone were to just stop by I'd not be embarrassed to have them come in and sit a while. Remember that it's okay to not have a perfect home.  It means that memories a...

Dear Kaidi -- I can't even believe that it's been 7 months since we met you.  In some ways the time has flown and I can't believe it's been as long as it has.  On the other hand, I can't believe it's already BEEN 7 months.  Time sort of stopped for me the moment your heart did. I've continued going to grief counseling as well as family therapy with your Daddy.  I really thought I'd moved past the guilt I felt over your death, but it seems to come back like the ocean's tide.  At times, there are pilings (my grief) that are fully exposed because the tide is out.  They are black and gnarled.  Some of them are broken and beginning to erode with the water that covers them about half of the time.  They have other "life" growing on them and feeding off of them...fueling them to grow and thrive.  They grow and thrive like the ache and hole in my heart do anytime we do something that you should be joining us for.  I try to take comfort in kno...

'MY WISH LIST" I wish you would not be afraid to speak my loved one's name. They lived and were important and I need to hear their name. If I cry and get emotional if we talk about my loved one, I wish you knew that it isn't because you hurt me: the fact that they died causes my tears. You have allowed me to cry and I thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing. I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn't think that if I have a good cry my grief is all over, or that if I have a bad day I need psychiatric counseling. Being bereaved is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. I wish you knew all the crazy grief reactions that I am having are in fact very normal. Depression, anger, fear, hopelessness and questioning of values and beliefs are to be expected following a death. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in 6 months. The first few years are going to be exceedingly traumatic for me. As wit...

This song has been on constant replay in my head and in my car when I'm there..  It almost has become my theme song.  If it offends, sorry.  If you get it...I'm glad. Sometimes lyrics Songwriters: John Landrum Cooper Sometimes when I lie, I know you're on to me Sometimes I don't mind how hateful that I can be Sometimes I don't try to make you happy I don't know why I do the things I do to you but Sometimes I don't wanna be better Sometimes I can't be put back together Sometimes I find it hard to believe There's someone else who could be Just as messed up as me Sometimes don't deny that everything is wrong Sometimes rather die than to admit it's my fault Sometimes when you cry, I just don't care at all I don't know why I do the things I do to you but [ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/skillet-lyrics/sometimes-lyrics.html ] Sometimes I don't wanna be better Sometimes I can't be put back together Sometimes I find it hard to ...

Original Measurements Waist 49 inches Bust: 50 inches Hips: 55 inches Thigh: 29.5 inches Bicep: 14 inches Neck 15 inches New Measurements Waist: 45.5 inches Bust: 46 inches Hips: 52.5 inches Thigh: 27.5 inches Calf: 18 inches Wrist: 7 inches Forearm: 10.75 inches Bicep: 15 inches Neck: 14.5 Weight 257 Waist Change: -3.5 Bust Change: -4 Hips: -2.5 Thigh: -2 Bicep: +1 Neck: -.5